My ex boyfriend complains that I don't show HIS side of our relationship in my stories that I have written for the magazine that I work for, so it's become a game of me slamming him in my stories and him slamming me back in the stories he's started to write and then me getting back at him again.... ...It's become a contest of who can slam the other best in our stories.... ...For example....
A Love-Hate Relationship.... ...Literally....!! (Act Two)
a comical 30 minute modern romance piece
by some poor average shmo
For more stories from
the poor, average
shmo.... ...send a note
DEMANDING that you
get the most recent
issue of Lady Luck Is
Who I Am.... ...Lady
BAD Luck, That Is....
demand that you see
more stories from
me....!! Just throw a
stamp and a short note
saying this into an
envelope with TEN
cents and EIGHT cents
tax....!! IT’S THAT
Send to: G.MEREDITH
3554 Bluebonnet Drive
Corpus Christi, Texas
All About The People Behind This Autobiographical “True Story....”
is the poor average shmo of this story. In his late teens--he represents the typical everyman. He’s not perfect and he is the first one to admit this fact. He doesn’t see himself as too much of a winner. He’s always trying to pursue the perfect no commitment relationship but women always think of him as immature because of it. He has blond hair. He’s not too tall but he’s not too short either. He's kind of a slob--but not too much of one. He keeps himself up.
is Axel’s ex-girlfriend during this time in his life and lives with him in a rough relationship that has it constant ups and downs.... ...kind of like a rollercoaster. She is a little younger than Axel but sees herself as being the more mature. Not a perfect little plain Jane -- she has a little character in her face.... ...just enough character to her face to set her apart from the “Barbie dolls” in life. A little fat--she is kind of overweight but has a sense of humor about it. She doesn’t go for that “women can be sluts but men can’t” sort of mentality. She is a sensual woman and can joke about that part of her life without acting like a stiff old biddy.
A Love-Hate Relationship.... ...Literally....!! (Act Two)
She was wearing so much makeup that the men playing pool in the bar kept walking up to chalk their pool sticks on her FACE.... ...You know.... ...they say that alcohol helps you to see the beauty in every living thing.... ...I knew this saying was true the next morning when I woke up with THAT THING in my bed....!!! ...She went to the bathroom to put on her makeup for the morning. Man, you‘ve got to be ugly when you have to put on your makeup with a paint roller. I know that some ladies remove their eyebrows and draw in new ones because they are cursed with the inconvenience of eyebrows that they just feel are a little bit too thick.... ...but SHE actually had to shave her eyebrows with a LAWNMOWER!!!!!!
What confuses me about a woman is their ability to be in total denial about the way their body looks. A woman will emphatically deny the fact that they have huge ankles when the proof is right underneath their nose. They’ll cover up the truth about their closely guarded age, weight, hair color; and wear shoes as well as dresses three sizes too small -- until finally they're at the point where they have themselves brainwashed into believing they actually are this physical ideal of what they SHOULD be.
So, anyway one day my ex-girlfriend was getting dressed in some black tights to go out.... ...and looked at herself in the mirror, saying, “In this outfit I remind me of Paula Abdul.”
And I said, “How is it that you remind yourself of Paula Abdul....? ...You mean the way that you pig out all the time and puke in order to try to keep your weight down, or do you just mean that your butt is too big??”
She had a screaming fit and told me that her butt was NOT too big, so I left the room. When I came back her mood swing had passed, and she was back in the small, strange world of denial that is inside of her little airhead. “In this 60’s style eyeliner, leopard skin skirt an leopard skin cutoff, I remind myself of Raquel Welch in 2,000 Years B.C.... ...Don’t you think so, Mark--??” ...Ginger asked.
I replied, “No.... ...you remind me more of CLEOPATRA.”
And she asked, “Why is that....? ...Is it because I look so much like the young Elizabeth Taylor -- ?”
I said, “No.... ...because you’re the Queen of Denial.” ...You get it? ...De Nile? ...The Nile??
Around then was the point that the fights had BEGUN to show up, like in most relationships, and her dark side had also BEGUN to show.
When she finally left, Ginger angrily packed her clothes; shoving various fistfuls after fistfuls of differently colored garments into her suitcase already full of the stuff.
...And as she stormed out, I suddenly realized that I would probably never see her again and that I couldn’t let it end this way. So, coming to my senses and rage with every breath fading from my once anger-filled chest, I ran out of the apartment door into the hallway after her to grab her hand from behind her. She turned around, her hand in mine to look straight into my eyes.... ...And suddenly I just blurted out spontaneously.... ...in a burst of realization.... “...Let’s not ruin this by fighting with each other over nothing right now.... ...I’m so sorry. Let’s not have it end this way. There were some bad times, but there were some happy times too that made the relationship worthwhile.... ...If we have to say goodby--let’s say it while we think of the good times.... ...not of the bad.... ...If we have to go our separate ways, maybe that’s for the best.... ...but I couldn’t let you leave without saying one thing.... ...I’ll never forget you.... ...um.... ...Jane.... ...um.... ...Ann.... ...um.... ...Mary.... ...um.... ...GINGER....!!! ...Yeah.... ...that’s your name.... ...Ginger....”
For a copy of what I'm gonna do to him in my next story to get him back GOOD, then send .12 cents plus tax with a stamp and a note saying you want the current issue of my comic book into an envelope and send it to Excelcior Entertainment....!
What I'm interested in:|
- G. Meredith Has Been Acclaimed By University Professors To Be An Unparalled Artist:
Meredith has been working as a newspaper cartoonist for thirteen years.... ...This unparalled artist has been a political, one panel and three panel strip cartoonist for newspapers such as THE PIEDMONT PRESS; THE FOGHORN, Del Mar University's newspaper and the EVERGREEN (Valley) FLYER NEWSPAPER, Evergreen University's newspaper.... ...This artist started off the first issue cover of SLAM (Maga)Zine, has worked on T-shirt and leather jacket art for money and has done some hip tattoo art for Generation X's latest trend (...and for money too....!). This artist--Meredith's--cartoon strip work has been reprinted in a comic book format edition, a "best of" treasury edition book, a complete works treasury edition, and has inspired it's own comic book with original stories, a series of 38 books and a magazine.... ...Meredith's one panel cartoon work is also being reprinted in an upcoming issue of SLUSHPILE MAGAZINE. Meredith's sculpture in gemlike marbled stone entitled KRYPTON WARCRUISER has been displayed at The Cain Auditorium of art and now is going to be sold to the highest bidder....
- Meredith Has Been Titled As "The Next Stephen King...." By Writers:
Working as a Movie Reviewer and Commentator in the 13 years this writer has worked in newspapers, this one has gathered a lot of experience....! ...This talented individual's first novel THE HEART THIEF is slated to become a movie shot by cinematographer Dan O'Neil in sunny California and has been optioned for adaptation into a play.... ...Meredith's stories have appeared in such magazines as THE WRITE STUFF and THE SIREN multiple times....! ...In fact, G. Meredith has been slated to become the next Supervisor/Editor/Story Correcter at THE WRITE STUFF!! Four of the writer's books have been published, including THE BOOK OF LADIES' LUCK, the horror novel SUICIDE EXPRESSWAY and the horror collection TRICK OR TREAT....!